It’s the 21st Century and you’d think that since stereotypes are breaking down one by one, men would not be required to pay on the first date. But then you’d be wrong.
Decorum in dating has been left unchanged in spite of the many societal changes that have happened. Sure, women may be receiving the same, if not more benefits from society than men, but some dating traditions have remained the same.
Women have actually admitted that they want men to pay for the first date. The only time that they would insist on paying for their half is when they are not interested on a second date.
It can be very awkward if the question of who should pay for a date is not immediately settled. Women might find it offensive that men do not even offer to pay, and men might find it annoying that women do not even at least offer to pay for her share of the meal. If this matter worsens, there might be no second date.
Therefore, here is what should really happen on the first date, according to dating experts.
As a rule of thumb, men should always offer to pay for the date. A lot of dating experts agree that in general, men should be the ones to pay for the first date. Yes, this is still what is expected regardless of equal rights, women’s rights, and the fact that women earn more than men nowadays.
This should even be a no brainer for guys. In a recent poll, men even admitted that they want to pay for a date. About 55% of surveyed men say that they should always take the check on the first date. Men do this in order to satisfy their need to feel like they are able to provide, even in the simplest ways such as paying for a meal.
Paying for dinner is also considered as a way for men to impress women. Especially if the guy is not really making a lot of money, making a woman see that he is paying for the meal shows that he is trying to impress as much as he can.
How about women? The same study has claimed that about 90% of women feel offended if the guy does not offer to pay. About the same percentage of women enter a first date and expect the man to pay for the dinner. 40% of women claim that if they offer to pay for the meal, they hope that the man would not let them do so. Another 40% of women claim that they become annoyed when men express their expectation for you to pay your half of the meal.
The only exception to this is if the woman is the one who asks the guy out and picks the place. In this case, it is just proper decorum for women to be prepared to pay for the meal.
Historically, men paid for dinner during dates because there was a time when women were not capable of doing so. However, this has long stopped being the norm. Men pay for dinner nowadays not because they think that the woman can’t, but because they feel that it is the right thing to do.
As a woman, if the guy offers to pay for dinner, let him. Letting the guy take charge of the bill can be your own little way of letting the relationship develop.
However, if you do not like the guy, you might wonder whether it is right for you to still let the guy pay. You might think that if you let him pay, you will in a way be owing him something.
Insisting on paying for what you ate on a first date can be taken by guys as an indication that you are not interested. In fact, this is probably the clearest expression of rejection you have on your arsenal.
If the guy remains persistent in paying for your dinner, let him. Again, do not take it to mean like you own him anything. He was the one who insisted on paying for the meal, so you should not feel like you are obligated to do something in return. Unless one of your dirty usernames is on the internet.
What is important, above anything else, is your experience during the date. There are other things to be concerned about than just who pays for the date. What matters more is whether you like the man and whether he is the one that you are looking for.